Am I Queer?

X-posted from Lady Evyl

After watching and reviewing Billy Castro does the Mission I started asking myself….what is queer today? I knew it was nowhere near the original definition of it but this movie really had me asking myself that definition of queer seems quite larger than I remembered. Let’s investigate with Wikipedia…

A little history…
Since its emergence in the English language in the 16th century (related to the German quer, meaning “across, at right angle, diagonally or transverse”), queer has generally meant “strange,” “unusual,” or “out of alignment.” At this time it was still not associated with anything sexual. Only in the 19th century does the term start to gain its implication of sexual deviance, especially that of homosexual and/or effeminate males. Subsequently, for most of the 20th Century, “queer” was frequently used as a derogatory term for effeminate gay males who were believed to engage in receptive or passive anal/oral sex with men, and others exhibiting untraditional gender behavior.

Contemporary usage
Some use queer as an inclusive, unifying sociopolitical umbrella term for people who are gay, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, transgender, transsexual, intersexual, genderqueer, or of any other non-heterosexual sexuality, sexual anatomy, or gender identity. It can also include asexual, autosexual people and those doing activities placing them outside of the heterosexual-defined mainstream such  BDSM practitioners or polyamorous persons. In this usage it retains the historical connotation of “outside the bounds of normal society” and can be construed as “breaking the rules for sex and gender.” It can be preferred because of its ambiguity, which allows “queer”-identifying people to avoid the sometimes strict boundaries that surround other labels. In this context, “queer” is not a synonym for LGBT (gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender) as it creates a space for “queer” heterosexuals as well as “non-queer” homosexuals.

I consider myself heterosexual, maybe borderline heteroflexible. I have dommed women in sexual and non-sexual scenes. The sexual ones where not a sexual stimulus for me…the dominating part was. that ‘high’ comes from the shared energy of a scene with another human being, regardless of their sex. I have kissed maybe 3 women a bit more passionately only 1 made me a bit more curious, my mouth touched maybe 2 female breasts.

With my sexuality just now somewhat defined I never in my life thought I would qualify as queer, at least not before my new discoveries above. I am a BSDM practitioner and I practice activities outside of the heterosexual-defined mainstream. Me, queer? I am open and welcoming of anyone who tries anything sexually as long as it is of legal age and consensual. I have many queer friends. But for me, my personal sexuality, I can be old fashion. Me, queer. It is a weird pill to swallow at first but it is going down.

Some say fetishism and BDSM lifestylers are the next ones up on the sociological chopping block, joining the ranks of gays and lesbians to fight for our rights and be recognized by the government. In Montreal the A.L.C.C. is trying to do just that: get a public voice for alternative lifestylers that are described above as queer. It is the only organization of it’s kind in Canada that we know of and I am proud to be part of the team trying to get it off the ground. I guess the term queer will change some more as the decades go by and new people will be welcomed under this umbrella, even unexpectant members such as I. I AM QUEER!